Eastern Carolina Style

Title: The Last Stand

Release Date: January 18, 2013

MPAA Rating: R (Strong Violence and Language)

Starring:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Johnny Knoxville
Forest Whitaker

Director:
Kim Jee-Woon

Writer:
Andrew Knauer

Plot:
A small town sheriff must prepare his town to fend off the efforts of a cartel kingpin who wants to use it as his escape route to Mexico. He must rely on a team of inexperienced deputies, misfits, and the town outcast to mount the defense.

My Initial Thoughts:
This is the type of movie you would expect to see from Arnie at this stage in his acting career. At his age, he is no longer even close to believable as the unbeatable action star that he was in The Terminator series. What we get now is him playing a cranky old sheriff that has to rely on the town nut-job for help when trouble arises.

What I liked:
Johnny Knoxville makes you laugh, or at least chuckle, in his role as the town lunatic / gun nut. Any time Knoxville was on screen was a highlight because he made you think you were watching an old episode of the A-Team. He would have been a good “Murdoch” now that I think about it.

What Looked Cool:
The car! The centerpiece of the first half of the movie is the Corvette C6 ZR-1 that the villain is using to make his way across the border.

Funny scene about the car: As the bad guy burns up the asphalt on his midnight run to Mexico, without headlights mind you, he blows past a deputy sitting on the side of the road. The deputy clocks the car going well over 250mph but was unable to actually see the car because of it’s speed.

Deputy: Dispatch…

Dispatcher: Go ahead…

Deputy: Contact the FAA and tell them some smart ass is flying a plane around out here without any lights.

What I didn’t like:
The movie left a lot to be desired; the dialogue was terrible, the story was very predictable, and the characters were not even close to believable.

What looked Dumb:
Seeing Arnie try to make a fight scene look believable. Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe in “old man strong,” but this movie really pushes that to the limit. The final fight scene between old-man Sheriff Arnie and the semi-professional kick-boxer drug kingpin is a complete joke.

AND…The car chase scene pitting a bone-stock Camaro against that monster of a Vette…Really?

Final Thoughts:
While I do have to admit that I found several parts of the movie to be fun and/or entertaining, The Last Stand was clearly just a paycheck for Arnie now that he is done playing governor. If you are determined to see this movie anyway, my advice would be to wait for it to show up on USA or TNT before you watch try and watch it. At least the commercials will break it up into pieces.