Eastern Carolina Style

While I have come to realize that Charlton Heston and I are pretty far apart on the political spectrum I still love the first two Planet of the Apes movies. The franchise took a sharp nose dive after that, so the modern reboot was a great chance to reintroduce the idea with post-millennium special effects. Also, I love it when the world ends and the existing “social contract” gets thrown out the window.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes looks like the sequel I was waiting for, and the wide shots of an abandoned city crawling with damn dirty apes is making my brain pulsate. Looks like the apes have learned to sneer effectively while riding horses! Cut to the remnants of humanity, led by Gary Oldman and some other dude who is not Gary Oldman. You know who I like less now? Gary Oldman, who clearly needs to work some stuff out (or at least needs a handler to remind him that defending anti-Semitic remarks never has positive consequences.
So, Caesar explains that apes do not want war in a funny croaky voice while Gary Oldman looks on like a slack-jawed yokel. Cut to shots of apes doing cool things like wrestling bears while people discuss the basic shortcomings of humanity and the superior adaptability of the ape. Hey! Now there’s a cute baby ape! What a shame I do not see that baby ape living through the end of the movie. There’s an outside chance it will just be kidnapped and used a pawn in the inevitable clash of species that will appear in the climax of the film, but I’m betting that is one dead ape baby.
Keri Russell is in this? She has been kicking ass and taking names over on The Americans; why did it take so long for her to show up in the promo? Stupid sexist Hollywood. I guess she’s married to the guy who is not Gary Oldman. Since Gary Oldman is yelling some very species-ist things I guess that guy who is not Gary Oldman is our human hero.
At the one minute 26 second mark the awesome things happens. A militant ape comes upon to human sentries who do not take it seriously. The ape clowns for them, they lower their guard, and then a slaughter ensues. A hilarious slaughter. Stupid humans.
More apes doing cool stuff, somebody gave Gary Oldman an automatic weapon, people running, the Navy gets involved, Gary Oldman yelling some more. Fire, hugging, interspecies bromance, more guns. This. Looks. AMAZING.