Archive for June 17, 2014


Dear whoever made Earth to Echo…Awesome ET rip-off!  It’s like the studio threw found footage, cute kids, robots, Super 8 and The Iron Giant into a blender and this emotionally void slop is what got spewed out.  In case you were wondering, I take schmaltzy, poorly done science fiction as a personal insult.  We ‘re talking, My Name is Inigo Montoya, You Killed My Father, Prepare to Die levels of personal insult.

The trailer opens with the Sweet Music of Whimsy and a voiceover.  Cut back and forth (may your intestines rot while still in your body, person who thought shaky cam was good idea) between various Lil’ Rascal-inspired kids showing off their phones.  Which, by the way, are much nicer than I can afford and should not be given to children, ever.

Then the unsupervised and dangerously neglected gang of future delinquents rides their bikes into the desert while more whimsical music plays.  Then they are poking at what appears to be a dusty bit of something or other, but is actually a robot alien of some kind.  Then, the children shriek in fear and probably wet their pants.  Just kidding.  But you know that would be the way more realistic reaction.

Ok, cute kid asking where the alien robot comes from, which is weird, because other than I come from space you dumb kids, what more specific answer will have meaning for them?  Are these kids astronomers?  Do they know advanced math?  Then having the alien robot show them a star chart is sort of pointless, isn’t it?  Why would the alien robot hang out with these kids anyway?  Is it an early version of WALL-E?  I read on the internet that the reason WALL-E was abandoned on the planet was that the robot model flipped out soon after its creation and “cleaned” the planet of humanity.  Please, please, alien robot—cleanse the Earth in radioactive fire starting with the precocious children that surround you!

Then one of the children says “those dudes.” And I really have to wonder if anybody under the age of 25 uses that word anymore.  Children running, blonde girl not having anything to do but conform to adolescent gender norms locating her as appropriately female while still able to serve as the token girl in the gang of boys, metal floating.  Truck Disassembly!  Truck Reassembly!  Boy bragging about he and his gang of outsiders did something, possibly, but not necessarily, relating to the truck disassembly-reassembly.