Archive for the ‘All’ Category

Lucy – Review

Posted: July 25, 2014 by MichaelSmithNC in All, Movie Review, Movies, Trailers
Tags: , , , ,

lucy-LCY_Tsr1Sheet_RGB_0523_1_rgb

 

French director and screenwriter Luc Besson has been on the scene since the early 1980s. He is the mind behind some of the better movies that I have seen come out of Europe. Le Femme Nikita, The Professional, The Fifth Element, and Taken are a few that I have really enjoyed. While screenwriting has proven to be a constant source of success for him, Taken is a recent example; direction seems to be a bit of an Achilles heel for him. He has not a directed anything that I would call “good” since The Fifth Element and The Professional back in the mid to late 1990s. Lucy is his most recent endeavor to get back on track as a relevant director.

Besson’s new sci-fi actioner Lucy, starring Scarlett Johansson as Lucy, is the story of a young student in Taiwan that is forced to work as a drug mule by Chinese drug smugglers. The smugglers surgically implant a kilogram bag of a designer drug that is ruptured while in her abdomen. After the exposure to the massive dose of the drug, Lucy begins a transformation that results in her unlocking the full potential of her brain. The action follows Lucy across Asia and into Europe as she evolves from a normal slutty looking blonde that uses less than 20% of her brain into a near god that has control of 100%. With the full potential of her mind unlocked, Lucy quickly discovers that she has the ability to things that are equal parts amazing and scary.

The movie has several things going for it and few things working against it. The visual presentation and effects are impressive are definitely a positive. Besson pulled out all of the stops to make the movie as visually striking as possible. As the story progresses and Lucy gains more and more power over her brain, the images that you are presented with give a concrete feel to the abstract changes that Lucy is going through. Near the end of the movie, as Lucy approaches 100%, the montage of the birth of the universe that she gains an understanding of puts the whole of the movie in perspective without a single word being spoken.

The acting as a whole was also impressive. I have seen and heard others say that Johansson seemed flat and/or clunky in the delivery of her performance. I could not disagree more. When you consider what is happening to the character and the perspective and freedom that she is granted the performance is perfectly suited. Morgan Freeman is his normal self, so no criticism is needed; he was a great casting decision. The rest of the cast is mostly unimportant so their performances can be overlooked.

The main negative of the movie is in the complexity of the ideas that are presented and in the way they are relayed to the audience. Once Lucy gains the vast knowledge that she acquires, the changes to her personality and behavior lead the audience to believe that as you get smarter and more mentally powerful, you lose any sense of right or wrong. Also, Lucy tries to explain what she is going through in such a way that it was nearly impossible to wrap your head around. At one point she even says, “your understanding of the universe is like a dog understanding the moon as he stares at it.” The concepts are going to be WAY over the heads of the Average Joe and will, probably, end up being a detractor from their ability to enjoy the movie as a whole.

As I walked out of the screening, I felt like I had just seen a really good movie, but I also felt like a total moron because of how complicated it was. If you can go into the movie, turn off the part of your brain that needs to make sense of things, and just enjoy what you are seeing; Lucy is going to be a 100% awesome experience for you. If you are the type that needs to “get it”, then I would advise you to skip it or bring aspirin for the headache you will get. Either way, Luc Besson has finally made a movie that he can rest his directorial hat on and say, “Yep I still got it.”

hercules_ver2_xlg

A Brett Ratner film. Are there any more hateful words in the English language? Can’t think of any, myself, except maybe X-Men: The Last Stand, a Brett Ratner film.

So, Brett Ratner did a Hercules movie with Dwayne Johnson. I suppose the artist formerly known as The Rock doesn’t entirely suck. He was in Southland Tales, after all. Can he play Hercules? Well, he’s no Steve Reeves but he sort of looks alright all oiled up and draped in leather, if you squint.

Apparently, in this version of the Hercules legend there are lots of dead bodies and sandals. Also, Ian McShane is talking while The Rock wanders through various topographical features, including snow, forests, swamps, caves, and mountains. Cerberus is there, then blood pours from a cup, then children cry. Maybe Hercules took their candy, because if I remember my Greek legends properly he was kind of a dick to women and children.

The narrator changes from Ian McShane to some chick while we get quick cuts to Hercules doing more stuff. In this movie, stuff is done and make no mistake. He lusts after some girly wearing too much make-up but with very pretty hair, he rides on a chariot while his adoring fans chant his name, he fights a great big lion armed only with a wooden bow and two guns (meaning his arms).

Then he proclaims that he only wants to be a husband and father while Joseph Fiennes (?) nods his head in such a way that you just know his character can’t be trusted. Semi-naked lady, same lady getting kidnapped and or eaten by Cerberus. Yes, mix up the sex and the violence. Give the people what they want Brett Ratner!
Mood change—now there are snakes and the third narrator of the trailer is blaming the Gods for the death of Hercules’ family. And that’s not all. The Gods are super pissed (again, if I remember my Greek legends that was a pretty much a constant) and decide to unleash Hell on Earth. Now John Hurt is talking about the descendants of Hades, and they look pretty cool as they emerge from the ground.

Weirdly, now a Queen of the Stone Age start playing over a battle scene. Shot stolen from Ridley Scott, Ian McShane again, Hercules punching evil in the face. Random stupid CGI creatures more or less from 47 Ronin, Hercules swings a huge penis metaphor, line more or less stolen from Braveheart. Fires! Hot chick doing battle gymnastics! Some light BDSM play with a whip, Ian McShane is pissed off and Dwayne Johnson screams I! Am! HERCULES! Any now I can’t stop picturing him screaming that at whatever person he’s managed to coax into bed after a hard night of clubbing.

I hope I don’t get stuck watching this. I really, really hope.

 Lucy

Hercules

The Fluffy Movie

Magic in the Moonlight

 

Sex Tape – Review

Posted: July 18, 2014 by MichaelSmithNC in All, Movie Review, Movies, Trailers
Tags: , , , ,

Sex-Tape-2014-Movie-Poster

Annie and Jay met in college and immediately discovered that they had a great sexual chemistry. That chemistry turned them into a pair of evenly matched nymphos. They loved sex with each other more than anything. They would find themselves having sex everywhere and anywhere at the drop of hat, ANY HAT.

The sex led to true love, that love led to marriage, and marriage led to kids. Now Annie and Jay are your typical American married couple with kids. Their days start with getting the kids ready for school before they rush off to work themselves. Their evenings and nights are often spent doing “family stuff” and then passing out in order to be ready to repeat the process again the next day. They are living the American Dream.

Wait, what happened to the sex?

Sex Tape is a hilarious comedy starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel as Annie and Jay. The couple answers the question, “what happened to the sex?” by making a homemade porno in the hopes that it will rekindle the sexual chemistry that has escaped them. After “going the whole Lincoln” and making the three hour movie, the couple passes out. While asleep the video, accidently, gets uploaded to the all-knowing entity that is known as “The Cloud.” The couple then has to go on a mission to collect and destroy every copy of the homemade porno that exists. Hilarity ensues…

The story is almost too funny to describe in words, it is the worst case scenario for any couple that has ever filmed themselves having sex. How the couple chooses to deal with the situation leads them into situations that can only be described as ridiculous. A vicious German shepherd, cocaine, extortionists, and even porn kings all stand in their way of stopping the spread of this movie.

Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel make a great comedic team. They have great chemistry and balance each other very well. Also, to pull off a movie like this, you have to have actors that have the right balance of comedic ability and true sex appeal. Even at 42 years old, Cameron Diaz has on-screen sex appeal to burn. The scene of her in that roller-girl outfit will be in the minds of men forever.

As a word of caution, this movie is the definition of what it means to be Rated R, don’t let the lack of a frontal nude scene lull you into a false sense of security. It should go without saying that there are MANY scenes depicting some form of crazy sex. There is also a bit of drug use and even a porn reference riddled soliloquy from a surprise cast member that is probably the icing on the cake of social inappropriateness.

If you are in need of a laugh this weekend, make the trip to the theatre and give Sex Tape a try. You will not be disappointed.

the-purge-anarchy-PG2_Final1Sheet_RGB_0609_1_rgb

Some movies are good enough all on their own, the story is complete and the issues resolved; the proverbial bow has been tied. Other movies are made with the intention of becoming a franchise or series. The unwillingness of Hollywood to tell a difference in the two scenarios leads me to a real problem in Hollywood; needless sequels. Based off of the success of last years movie, The Purge, director James Demonaco and his group came back to make an obligatory, unnecessary sequel; The Purge: Anarchy.

Last year, I got a taste of excitement with The Purge. It was something different, not amazingly good or anything but different. Before it came out, I looked for a graphic novel for it, a foreign version, an old TV show, anything that might fit the typical Hollywood process of finding ideas. When my efforts came up empty I went to the theatre full of hope that maybe DeMonaco and his group had found something that could break up the un-originality that plagues movie-making today. I left the screening pretty well satisfied, not awe-inspired or anything, but entertained.

Enter the sequel… What part of The Purge made you think a sequel was needed? After watching The Purge: Anarchy I pulled out my DVD of The Purge to see if I missed anything in the story, nope. I also looked for any commonalties between the two movies outside of the setting, still nothing. Finally, I looked to see if any of the characters somehow slipped my attention and appeared in both movies without me noticing, strike three. It is official; The Purge: Anarchy is a money-grab only.

The story is set in the same reality of the first movie. It is one year later from the events of The Purge and people in the downtown areas of the city are preparing. They are all preparing for the one night of the year when laws and morality are suspended and society is encouraged to “release the beast” and “purge for the greater good.” We are introduced to a mother and daughter in their apartment, a husband and wife driving through town, and a very disturbed man suiting up for war. Each is doing what they can to ready themselves for the 12 hours of carnage that are on the way. Once the horn blasts and the purge begins the three different perspectives all come together through circumstances outside their control and are forced to face the night as a team.

The cast of actors in The Purge: Anarchy does not contain a “big name” to anchor the cast like Ethan Hawke did in the first movie. As a matter of fact, it does even have a “bigger” name supporting cast member like Lena Headley. Frank Grillo who played Agent Brock Rumlow in the most recent Captain America movie and Zach Gilford from the TV version of Friday Night Lights were the most well-known, or recognizable, members of the cast. The casting of a large number of, primarily, TV actors will make you think, “I have no idea who that is, but I have seen them somewhere else.” Even considering the cast’s overall lack of big screen experience, no one really stood out as a negative. On the other side of that subject, no one really stood out as that good either.

The main weakness that I found in the movie was the dump truck load of political and sociological undertones that were dropped on my head. I get it! America is a violent country with lots of guns and a disregard for the poor. Can we not just move on with story and not try to solve all the problems of the country with a movie?

The Purge: Anarchy was not a bad movie. I went in knowing full well that it was a money grab sequel, I was right. If you liked the first one and wondered what else you could do in the story, then you will probably enjoy this installment. If mindless violence for the sake of violence, intense political undertones, and ambiguous morality in your heroes is a turn-off for you, then I would advise you to skip this one. Overall, when it hits Redbox, throw a dollar at it. Don’t purge $10 from your wallet at a theatre on this one.

Planes: Fire and Rescue

Sex Tape

The Purge: Anarchy

And So It Goes

 

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

 

 

dawn-of-the-planet-of-the-apes-DPA_Group_Bridge_VER_C_SRGB_rgb

While I have come to realize that Charlton Heston and I are pretty far apart on the political spectrum I still love the first two Planet of the Apes movies. The franchise took a sharp nose dive after that, so the modern reboot was a great chance to reintroduce the idea with post-millennium special effects. Also, I love it when the world ends and the existing “social contract” gets thrown out the window.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes looks like the sequel I was waiting for, and the wide shots of an abandoned city crawling with damn dirty apes is making my brain pulsate. Looks like the apes have learned to sneer effectively while riding horses! Cut to the remnants of humanity, led by Gary Oldman and some other dude who is not Gary Oldman. You know who I like less now? Gary Oldman, who clearly needs to work some stuff out (or at least needs a handler to remind him that defending anti-Semitic remarks never has positive consequences.
So, Caesar explains that apes do not want war in a funny croaky voice while Gary Oldman looks on like a slack-jawed yokel. Cut to shots of apes doing cool things like wrestling bears while people discuss the basic shortcomings of humanity and the superior adaptability of the ape. Hey! Now there’s a cute baby ape! What a shame I do not see that baby ape living through the end of the movie. There’s an outside chance it will just be kidnapped and used a pawn in the inevitable clash of species that will appear in the climax of the film, but I’m betting that is one dead ape baby.
Keri Russell is in this? She has been kicking ass and taking names over on The Americans; why did it take so long for her to show up in the promo? Stupid sexist Hollywood. I guess she’s married to the guy who is not Gary Oldman. Since Gary Oldman is yelling some very species-ist things I guess that guy who is not Gary Oldman is our human hero.
At the one minute 26 second mark the awesome things happens. A militant ape comes upon to human sentries who do not take it seriously. The ape clowns for them, they lower their guard, and then a slaughter ensues. A hilarious slaughter. Stupid humans.
More apes doing cool stuff, somebody gave Gary Oldman an automatic weapon, people running, the Navy gets involved, Gary Oldman yelling some more. Fire, hugging, interspecies bromance, more guns. This. Looks. AMAZING.

Tammy

Deliver Us From Evil

Earth to Echo

America: Imagine a World Without Her

 

poster-for-the-phycological-thriller-deliver-us-from-evil

Eric Bana plays a New York cop who has seen some horrible things, which he makes sure to tell us about in a hard to source accent.  Is the terrible accent the result of something horrible you saw, Eric Bana?  Can you just take your shirt off now please?  I find it must easier to ignore your stupid voice when you look pretty.  Also, it is apparently raining for most of the movie and I am sure you will increase the box office receipts if you sell the movie as  “half-naked and dripping wet Eric Bana keeps his mouth shut while fighting evil.”

So, Eric Bana has a daughter who is both annoying and cute, in the way of child actors.  He also has a wife.  Apparently, her job is to be his wife, dress is sexy nighties, and raise their daughter, so it’s one of those movies.  Anyway, he gets called out to the Bronx Zoo at night, and now it sounds like a Boston accent?  Maybe he watched Good Will Hunting before showing up to work?  Anyway, there are strange goings-on at the Bronx Zoo in the middle of the night.

Cut to a scene from Penny Dreadful (wolves looking shifty at the zoo!  Probably werewolves because…evil).  The cops wander aimlessly, and find a woman doing some frankly unsettling shit.  I am sure that giving crazy eyes while on your knees scraping at the unforgiving ground is bad enough, but the trailer editors amp up the disturbing factor through the use of nails on the chalkboard music.

Then, a priest with a hard to source accent appears.  Spanish?  I think it might be Spanish.  Anyway, blah blah evilcakes, but Eric Bana is like, blah blah spiritual void, blah blah I dare this movie to change my mind about God and the Devil.  Screaming, scared lady with scary husband, more rain, bodies fall from the sky.  Third mention of scratching as a plot point HOLY CRAP THERE IS A CREEPY DEMON GUY HOVERING OVER HIS DAUGHTER, oh, wait, that was just in the mirror, guess it’s safe to walk away and leave his daughter in the clearly haunted room.

At what point did Eric Bana see that demon guy in the mirror?  Because she is in bed during a lot of scenes in the trailer, and while I’m on the fence about the scare value of the rolling hooting owl head, if I see something weird in my son’s room, like, I don’t know, a demon guy, for example, we’re all going to sleep in the car that night.

Spiders, more screaming, that dude is tied to a chair, that other dude is popping out of a dumpster, more rain.  Apparently Eric Bana’s daughter is named Christina, because that’s the name he keeps repeating,  He doesn’t sound that worried though.  More like he found out that she drew on wall in permanent marker and needs a time out. Definitely looks decent, but every time I see the trailer I notice that Joel McHale (The Soup, Community) has a role, and I am dying to know where he could possibly fit in.  Maybe the wisecracking Chief of Police?